Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Stop! Don't Do it!!! You are Wasting your money on that!! Summer Movies You Should Avoid!

As I looked at the slate of movies that have been released or will be released within the next couple of months I noticed a couple of things 1) I will be wearing a lot of 3-D glasses 2) there will be lots of explosions in the movies and 3) there will be some pretty terrible writing (my prediction).  Now the "summer" movie season has begun earlier and earlier each year.  This year started with the unnecessary (but number one film at the box office for the year so far) Fast Five.  Then came Thor and that sleeper comedy Bridesmaids, and this past Friday saw the release of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean film, On Strange Tides.  Now I would go see Fast Five if I had a free pass, but it would not be a top choice, and I have not seen 2 Fast 2 Furious or The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift or even the stupidly titled Fast and Furious so I guess I miss out.  The first film this year that I will NOT and I repeat NOT go to see is:

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (Out in theatres now)- Even Johnny Depp who has made some questionable choices lately (Alice in Wonderland) has said we need to do a wait and see for this film.  I thought the last two films were terrible.  Johnny Depp was great, in the first film and deserved his Oscar nomination, but the fact that these films keep getting worse and worse just makes me want to jump ship.
What you should see instead: Anything, Thor, Fast Five Bridesmaids-Pirates is waste of your money!!

Kung Fu Panda 2 (Released May 26th)- I find Jack Black annoying even in panda form.  My reasons can be said as simply as this, I disliked the first film I will surely not be around for a sequel.
What you should see instead: The Hangover 2- Drag your child to see this so they can sit through one of your films, for once!

Cars 2 (Released June 24)-Another animated film makes this list.  I didn't like the first one and I think this is the one Pixar movie I disliked.  I think it is hilarious that they picked to make a sequel to this film, but my guess is because it is the most generic of all of their films and easiest to produce a sequel to.  I hope the young children enjoy this film very much!
What You should see instead: Bad Teacher-Even Though I am not a huge fan of Cameron Diaz, this look hilarious

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Release date July 1st)-The first two films are terrible.  The first one had great visual effects save the day to make the film watchable, but the visual effects were lousy in the second film.  I do not care if Shia goes on Ellen and says the underwear model can act (she can't-easy prediction) or that he "approves" of this script.  They told him they would write him out like they did Megan Fox if he didn't say that and in a film series where character development and actors are expendable,  I would probably say that too.
What you should see instead:  I may eat my words on this, but Larry Crowne with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts looks adorable and family friendly-If that matters.

The Smurfs and Cowboys and Aliens (Released on July 29th)  With Cowboys and Aliens.  This may prove me wrong also but it just doesn't look that great and the graphic novel is not the best.  I am also tired of adaptations of my favorite cartoons from when I was a child-Garfield was bad, and so was Alvin and the Chipmunks, stop ruining my childhood.
What you should see instead:  Crazy Stupid Love looks great with an amazing cast that includes Steve Carrell, Julianne Moore, Morissa Tomei, Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.

I am going to leave August alone for now, but I hope this helps you find some good movies to see, and the ones to avoid!!

*Blogger's note-Maybe you should skip The Hangover 2-but those who want to see it won't

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