Transformers: Dark of the Moon has no Brightside

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (1 out of 5 stars)

Directed by: Michael Bay

Written by: Ehren Kruger

Starring: Shia LeBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Tuturro, Patrick Dempsey, and Frances McDormand.

According to this film, the space between the USA and the USSR was because an auto bot shipped crashed on the moon and a CGI John Kennedy ordered his people to get to the moon first.  When John Glenn and Buzz Aldrin walk on the moon, America cheers and the cameras get shut off.  They find the autobot ship that has a group of transformers and the government cover up begins.  Then we flash to our "hero" Sam Witwicky (a rather whiny unlikeable hero) with his new hot girlfriend Carly, played by the Victoria's secret model turned actress. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.  Rosie may be a better actress than Fox, but she is still a stiff cardboard cut out that Bay uses to represent women in his films.

 Sam our "hero", from the previous two alien encounters is unemployed, and wants to be more. Sam is of course like a lightening rod to this alien trouble and become the central focus of this story.  LeBeouf is just not someone I root for, nor is his character (the way he plays him) someone I care about.  I know he and his insert hot girlfriend will survive, but I never get connected to these characters. Of course as the story continues things start to get out of control and like the other films there is a fight between the autobots and the decepticons.  The thing the Americans found on the moon was a Cybertonian spacecraft and it has rods that can bring the planet Cybertron to Earth.  

Bay knows how to pack his film with visual effects ( I credit his visual effects team with this achievement), but the problem with this film is I don't care about any of the characters.  There are a slew of supporting players who all end up living somehow, but what do really know about any of them?  Lennox (Josh Duhamel), Epps (Tyrese Gibson), and Simmons (John Turturro) all play one dimensional characters in each of the films and as audience member I could care less about any of them,  Bay sacrifices actual genuine character development for explosions.  If you can deal with that you will have no problem with this film.

Even older summer box office films from around this time like Independence Day (1996) allowed me to get to know the characters in one film, and I was rooting for this like able group.  The Transformers series is just about the shiny robots and explosions without any depth.