Lifetime's Liz and Dick is Equal Parts Train Wreck and Hilariously Bad Sketch Comedy

There is not much to say about Lifetime's television movie Liz and Dick, mostly because I am speechless, and tired from laughing so hard.  The story follows Liz and Dick, or Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton mostly through their careers in the 1960s, their meeting on the set of Cleopatra, hating one another then falling in love.  The point of the film, albeit this did come across, was that these two folks were two of the first celebrities, in the way we know now.  They loved each other, but their private lives becoming public got in the way of the actual love affair.  Sounds like a great story, one that would make an excellent film, right? Wrong.

The first problem is that you have two of the most complex films stars played by amateurs.  Let's take a look at Ms. Lohan first.  Lindsey Lohan and Elizabeth Taylor have had similar lives.  Like Taylor Lohan was a child star who may have grown up too quickly, thus preventing her from understanding normal.  There is a line in the film where Taylor takes time off from the movies (at age 29) and states I have made 29 pictures I do not know how to play games or do real things.  Taylor went through a lot of emotional hell, and the tabloids ate it up.

Much like Taylor Lohan is going through quite the same ordeal, the difference Taylor had talent, and Lohan has lost her talent in the bars, or allegedly doing cocaine with her mother.  While Taylor's personal demons affected her much more in her later years; she still won two Oscars, and had some of the most amazing performances in film.  Lohan has tried to recoup but failed at hosting Saturday Night Live, which was a major foreshadowing of this film.  Lohan's portrayal of Taylor was painful, and hilarious, but in the way Faye Dunaway portrayed Joan Crawford.  Nothing is "convincing" about this conversion; she did not look like her, the make-up, and hair were bad, and she did Liz wrong.  Apparently Ms. Lohan was a terror on the set, using the excuse she was trying to get in character; she needed to be an even bigger bitch apparently.

Grant Bowler is not without fault; he did played Richard Burton as an offish buffoon rather than the complicated drunk ladies man.  Bowler has been suave and debonair in many different roles, like televisions Ugly Betty, in fact that should have influence his acting more, but he flat lined.  Burton was just as complex as Liz, but he was beyond boring in this film.

Director Lloyd Kramer, and writer Christopher Monger had a gold mine in their lap.  Lifetime was salivating at the tit, with the juicy material of the romance between Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, but they struck out.  They gambled with the wrong leading lady who should have tried to not play herself on screen, but rather capture the complicated person that was the beautiful/talented Elizabeth Taylor.

Movies that Put Life into Perspective: The Parent Trap-1998 (Trapped on Duty Night Three)

Cut to a fourteen year old awkward Kevin Dillon; he is a bit of a lonely kid, and spends most of his time with his sister and parents.  At fourteen I did not fit in with the popular crowd, nor did I have many friends who understood who I was (heck I didn't even understand myself).  One of the most important things was going to the movies with my family, and then after sitting down with in our home and having our ritual movie nights. They were the same movies, and we watched them over and over again.  They meant, and still do mean so much to me as adult.  As I was flipping through the channels I saw that The Parent Trap (1998) was on HBO, and I had to record it.  Being trapped on duty helped me to relive those wonderful family moments.

The Parent Trap was one of the Dillon family standards.  Lindsay Lohan was still cute, and had not touched hard drugs, or been imprisoned.  Nathasha Richardson (may she rest in peace) was glowing and looked like a younger version of her talented mother.  Dennis Quaid was at his peak and had never been sexier, or more charming.

While the original Parent Trap (1961) is a classic, my family and I always watched the remake.  This is one of those rare occasions where the remake is just so cute, and charming that you can't help to fall in love with this film.  Nancy Meyers (The Holiday, It's Complicated, and Something's Gotta Give) wrote and directed this film.  Looking at her resume proves to be a chick flick a-thon, but there is this magical charm within her films that is irresistible; she has this magic wand she waves and there is this automatic gooey feeling that is channeled within my stomach.  I kinda love this feeling, and may just have to watch one of her other films tonight I own most of them, and did not even realize this fact. I am not someone who likes to admit this often, but the fact that it's making me think of days from my childhood is just hard to resist.

Being stuck on duty has forced me to not only clean my apartment, but to be able to sit down, and re-watch some of my favorite films.  Movies provide me with such a nostalgic feeling, especially this one.  I remember my sister owning the VHS, and how she and I would sit and watch this over and over and over again.  While watching the film I had to text her to tell her I was thinking of her, and then she texted me a picture of her funny Halloween costume.  This only led me to the realization that we are no longer children; she is 20 and I am 27, it's an odd feeling, and as you watch films from your childhood you cant help but think about the days past, and the magical effect of film.